My Experience with Abortion

Read Time: 7 minutes

As Christians, our personal testimony can be a powerful tool and amazing gift to bring glory to God and help others learn from our experiences and mistakes.

When we are willing to be vulnerable and transparent about our deepest and darkest sin, God will use it to show His love and His redeeming grace. He will use it to show that even our worst mistakes can be used to honor Him and serve others.

But in the church today, there is certain sin that seems to be “off-limits.” There is sin that is avoided by pastors and is treated as so abhorrent that it can’t even be talked about. There is sin that some believe can’t be forgiven, because to them, forgiving the sin is the same as condoning the sin.

In many churches, that unspoken sin is abortion.

However, just because the church doesn’t talk about abortion doesn’t mean the church is immune to it. In fact, surveys show that most people who have abortions claim a religious affiliation, and many were regular attendees at church when they had the abortion.

That means someone that you sit next to every Sunday likely has abortion as part of their story.

But still, we stay silent on the issue and fail to help those in our own churches who are either struggling with a past abortion or wrestling with how to handle an unexpected pregnancy.

Avoiding the subject is not the answer. It’s that simple. And that’s why I want to share my testimony about how God has used a horrible mistake in my past as an opportunity to glorify Him now.

We Found Ourselves at Planned Parenthood

For 17 years, I had my head down.

I was building my own company and was working 60 hours per week. Any time I wasn’t in the office, my wife and I were at the church we had helped start in our community. And for years, we poured everything we had into that business and church.

Then in 2010, everything began to change all at once.

That summer, I sold my company and started a consulting business. The church we had spent years investing in split up. And my wife and I realized that after so much time spent ministering to and serving others, our marriage had become strained and needed a tune-up. That’s when we decided to schedule an appointment with a Christian counselor.

I’ll never forget the moment we closed the door to the counseling office during that first appointment. All the sudden, my wife began to cry uncontrollably. 

I had honestly never seen her like that. And all I could think was that either our marriage was in much worse shape than I thought, or there was something underneath the tears that we had never really talked about.

Throughout that first session, we began to peel back the layers of what was behind the tears. As we did, we discovered that it all went back to a decision that we made before we even got married – the decision to have an abortion.

Just months before our wedding while we were engaged, we found out that we were pregnant. Like so many couples who face this situation, we had no idea what to do. As we were searching for answers, we ended up taking some bad advice and found ourselves at a Planned Parenthood clinic. And a week later, we went through with an abortion and took the life of our daughter.

For 17 years after that day, we didn’t talk about it.

We didn’t talk about it with our friends, our family, our church, or even each other. We buried it away. And until that day in counseling, we had no idea the damage it had caused and was still causing in our marriage.

God’s Calling

That same week, God began to lay the foundation of how He would help my wife and me heal and use our story to bring Him glory.

That week, I was introduced to Human Coalition and given a business card with a link to their website. I was told that the organization was trying something new and ambitious: using innovative internet marketing strategies to rescue children from abortion.

Right from the beginning, I felt the pull from God. I took the business card home and kept looking at it and praying, “God, what are you doing?” How was it that 17 years after my experience with abortion, God was bringing this organization into my life? What did it all mean?

As I continued to pray and walk through this season of life, I began to see what God was doing. I started to personally see the devastation that abortion could cause. I started to see the bigger picture and impact of abortion nationwide. And I couldn’t believe that as Christians, we were not doing everything we could to rescue the next child from perishing.

I knew then that God was calling me to help. God was calling me to stand in the gap for vulnerable moms and dads and provide them with the hope they need to choose life. God was calling me to be part of the mission that Human Coalition was pursuing. And if I didn’t take the step of faith and act, I would regret it for the rest of my life.

Using the Pain

In the weeks and months following that first counseling appointment, my wife and I worked through the decision we made, asked the Lord for forgiveness, and started the process of healing.

For me, the healing came through my work with Human Coalition. After my initial introduction to the organization, I started meeting with the team regularly and was eventually invited to serve on the board. Finally, in 2012, I took the leap and started working full time with Human Coalition.

Today, it’s been about 10 years since that first counseling appointment. My wife and I are still married. We have four kids. We are actively involved in our church and community.

We know that we’ve been forgiven. And yet, the pain never goes away. To this day, we still think about our fifth child who should be here with us.

But we are using that pain to lean in and invest in the mission to end abortion. And we are using that pain to help ensure others don’t make the same mistakes we did.

Will YOU Stand in the Gap?

The British abolitionist William Wilberforce said, “You may choose to look the other way but you can never say again that you did not know.”

The harsh reality is that many Christians know the devastation that abortion causes. Many Christians know that thousands of children are dying in abortion clinics every day. Many Christians know that there are people hurting and struggling with their past decision to abort.

But many Christians also choose to look the other way.

As I reflect on the circumstances that led to the decision my wife and I made, I desperately wish there would have been someone there to encourage us to bring our child into the world. I wish there would have been someone there to give us some perspective. I wish there would have been someone who could have connected us to an organization like Human Coalition.

My question for you today is simple: Will you stand in the gap to love and care for someone when they feel like no one does? Will you walk alongside them?

Thousands of moms and dads are struggling every day with the same decision that my wife and I faced. They need someone to meet them where they are. They need someone to show them that they can choose life.

Additionally, there are countless more who are struggling with a past decision to abort.

As Christians, we must recognize that Jesus came to Earth to meet us where we are and save us from all our sin. Jesus was not silent in His objective to forgive all those who come to Him. He didn’t condone the sin, but He did forgive. And there is no sin that can transcend the redemptive grace of Christ.

If no sin is unforgivable to Jesus, that means no sin is unforgivable for us – even abortion. We should follow Christ’s example and walk with those who have abortion in their story through forgiveness and redemption.

Don’t choose to look the other way. Choose to show love and compassion. Choose to walk alongside your neighbors. Choose to stand in the gap.