With well over 50 million abortions in America since the early 70’s, the number of people whose lives have been impacted by this holocaust is enormous. Each one of us (whether we are aware of it or not) knows someone who has had an abortion.

While Human Coalition exists to rescue babies from abortion, we also recognize the need to extend compassion, forgiveness, grace, and help to those women who have had abortions and now suffer physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as a result.

We are so grateful that most of the pro-life pregnancy centers we work with provide some level of care to post-abortive women and men. Because of the guilt and shame involved, many post-abortive women suffer in silence. Our hope and prayer is that they would experience God’s grace and forgiveness and be restored through that process.

God is using post-abortive women in powerful ways. Part of the vision for Human Coalition is to offer opportunities for these women to counsel abortion-minded clients and to provide much needed support and love to others who chose to abort their babies.

I was recently contacted by a woman named Julie who shared her story with me. I was moved by it and I think you will be, too. I asked her permission to share it with you and she graciously agreed. These are her words:

“I was 18 years old when I became pregnant. My boyfriend offered to marry me at first, but in the end he decided for both of us that abortion was the only answer. He worked at a Methodist hospital, and they were affiliated with a women’s clinic where abortions were performed, so he made the arrangements and paid for it.

If we weren’t going to be married, I saw no use in telling my parents; I didn’t want to hurt them needlessly, or burden them with a fatherless grandchild. I was too selfish to consider adoption.

I told the counselor at the facility that I did not want this abortion, but that didn’t seem to make any difference. I wondered why they even sent me through that process if my input wasn’t going to matter either way.

I was not told of the baby’s development, only that it was a blob of tissue, or “contents of the uterus”… something to that effect. Following the pregnancy test, an ultra-sound was done, but I was not allowed to look at the screen.

Months later, in my college biology class, I discovered what an unborn baby looks like at 16 weeks gestation—the stage at which my dilation-and-curettage abortion had been done.

I became very upset and depressed after that. I couldn’t concentrate and did not do well on final exams. I didn’t return to college the next year, and my relationship with my boyfriend fizzled within a few months.

In 1980, I received new life in Jesus Christ when I responded to an invitation to give Him total control as my Lord and Savior. I was 21 years old at the time.

One evening a teenage mom brought her baby to a home Bible study I attended. I found myself feeling deep sadness and crying for no reason. I did not understand what was happening. Then, in prayer with friends, God revealed to me that I was grieving over the abortion, and that seeing this young girl with her baby had triggered the buried memories.

Healing came in stages after that. I needed to forgive myself…forgive the baby’s father…several areas opened up, one by one, over a period of years.

One of the most bittersweet realizations I had was acknowledging the reality that in spite of the awful circumstances, a child had been lost and I was this child’s mother, so grief needed to run its normal course. I have since met many other post-abortive women, and we have honored the memories of our babies with mutual sympathy.

In 2006, while recording the Unseen Hands music CD for our CROCUS (Christ Reaches Out to Comfort Us) ministry, I asked the Lord for a song that would be my special contribution to this healing project. I sat down at the piano and “The Space” came out, along with soul-racking sobs. I knew this was God’s message for me and for other women whose hearts and lives had been damaged by abortion.

I pray it will be used to reach and touch many in His name. My greatest joy will be if this song and my testimony can prevent another young woman from making the same terrible choice that I did.”

You can hear Julie’s song here.